The Drooling Fish

Silly doubleposting Mr Matthew has suggested I get a DeviantArt thing. Being my single most awesome reader, I felt the need to oblige him. So here it is: a DeviantArt thing.

I just created it a few minutes ago, and it’s pretty fancy, but not entirely user friendly. I mean, what the hell is a ‘deviation’? Isn’t a deviation a variation of the norm? Oh, wait, I get it. How very artsy of you, DeviantArt thingy.

It’s unfortunately been getting colder and colder lately, which I blame solely on global warming. It’s somewhere around 18C  now, and I’m freezing my bollocks off. And what do you crave when it’s Ice Age-cold? If the title of the post hasn’t rung any bells in your head, the answer’s soup. Specifically, pumpkin soup.

So, I got out from under the pile of blankets I’d been hiding under, whereupon I contracted frostbite in a few fingers, and I made pumpkin soup. By God, did I make pumpkin soup.

All pictures taken with my new camera, which I love so much I’m thinking of naming.

Mmm…soup.

Link Link

I’ll give in to the old blogger cliche: I’m, totally, the worst blogger ever. I guess this makes me part of the club now, right?

So a month and a half has elapsed since my last post, and I’m assuming even my most loyal reader (ten bucks it’s Matt) has deleted me off their RSS auto-feeder thing. Screw you, everyone!

I kid, I kid. Please don’t delete me off your RSS auto-feeder thing. I love you; please stay!

So what’s happened in the last fortysomething days? Bits and bobs, but nothing too exciting. I know, what a let down, right? I’ll put down everything in a nice list format.

1) I obviously got home from camp. Like I suspected, it was dirty and smelly. I wrote an article for the school yearbook about it (like all the cool kids do), so I might post that soon.

2) Holidays were a bore. I worked lots. Oh, and mum left me to go overseas. Which is okay, because…

3) She got me a nice watch. And a camera. Both of which I’m extremely excited about. The camera’s a Fujifilm F100, a 12 megapixel beast of a machine. The watch, some form of Seiko, is pretty and so very shiny. Now I think of it, I have pictures of my watch taken with my camera. I swear it’s for insurance purposes, and I’m not just obsessed with my new toys.

4) School started again, which is rather noteworthy. Lots of homework piling up to exams in about a month’s time.

5) Oh, dear. Exams in a month’s time. My maths teacher kindly reminded us that this attributes to about a quarter of the year’s total mark. Oh dear ohdearohdear.

And that’s a general overview. But something interesting happened today that got me thinking. After a night of work at the family restaurant (the only place in the world I’d consider being nice, and not just civil, to people I greatly dislike; seriously, please do not feed the floor) my mum and I were getting into the car to go home when we noticed a crapload of glass on the back seat. We were surprised, seeing that we usually take all the shattered glass we find and grind it up into people’s food. We, being the amateur sleuths we are, followed the trail of glass to one of the side windows, where we discovered a hole about the size of a human fist. We were surprised, seeing that when we had left, there had been no hole. After much cranium scratching, we concluded that some wanker had used his human fist-sized hand to break our window. The bastard.

(This train of thought, I assure you, didn’t take as long as my long-winded writing implies.)

False edit: another staffer at the restaurant apparently had her windscreen broken too. Mum thinks that the dickhead has something against red cars. Bravo, mum.

Nothing was taken, nothing was left. Except, well, a fucking big hole in the rear-left window. So my question is: what drives people to commit random acts of violence? Is it a deformity in the brain? Coercion by gangland bosses? An intergovernmental conspiracy? It seems pretty foul, deranged, even, that a person would, without reason, destroy, manipulate or otherwise corrupt the belongings of another. An example of this is graffiti: why the hell would you feel the need to leave your ‘tag’ on everything? I mean, you probably need the practice in spelling your own name, but please, don’t do it on my restaurant.

Dickhead.

I’m unofficially on holidays!

I’ll be away Sunday to Friday on some school adventury camp thing, unfortunately.

I’m sure it will be dirty and smelly. I’ll take a leaf out of Matt’s blog and keep you folks updated after it’s actually happened.

Wish me luck.

Here in the wastelands of The Drooling Fish, the dormancy of the native fauna is excruciatingly painful. The eerie silences are abhorrent. If we were not underwater, tumbleweed would pass by like the runny defecation seeping into the Depends of an octogenarian vegetable.

hey lol guyz that means this blog is totally boring.

In a bid to rectify that, I’ll make a short post. It is as follows:

Anybody that has spoken to me recently will have noticed I’m down in the dumps quite a bit lately. This isn’t at all like me, I know, the adonis of a humorist I am. I frequently ask myself why I’m sitting in front of the computer, refreshing the same pages over and over again. Is it a lack of self worth? A lack of achievement? A plain lack of things to do?

The new school year has brought on big changes, the most dramatic of which is probably the umpteen piles of pressure dumped on you like a tidal wave of doom and gloom. I don’t adjust very well, so I’m naturally finding this rather difficult to overcome (FYI, though, I’m not doing badly). My nights consist of homework, followed by a stretch of nothingness. TV doesn’t interest me, nor do most of the things I used to find solave in. Naturally, this nothingness has led so a certain amount of concern.

I’d like to rectify this somehow, bridge this void and hope it solves everything else. But what do I do? Learn a language? Join a sporting team? There seems to be a huge pool of things to do, but none of them really interests me.

So two questions today: any suggestions for a mega awesome hobby? If I take up this hobby, will it interest me; will it solve anything?

to balance out this doom and gloom, here’s a picture of a baby seal.

My ma would be proud of me: I’m making friends. I’ve recently noticed myself on a few blogrolls, which naturally encourages/forces me to write in here occasionally. Don’t want to disappoint my 3 fans, right?

A few updates, then:
Dad destroyed my drooling fish poster (for those that don’t know, my drooling fish poster is an awesome 6×3 page rasterbated monstrosity that I want to drape over my plain, boring walls). He covered it in contact paper, and did a crap job. More on this later.

I got myself a new phone – the Nokia 6300. Thanks to Matt for the suggestion. It was a pain in the ass to find. It was sold out completely at 2 or 3 shopping complexes and in the city. I ended up finding it at Big W (think Wal*Mart, ‘mericans). Heh. It’s easy to use and pretty, but the included software’s a piece of trash. Breaks randomly and whatnot.

I made pizza. It was delicious. That is all.

So that’s what I’ve done since I last posted here. Impressive, huh? For those I’ve left in suspense, yes, I have cleaned my room. No, it’s not picture-worthy.

My ginger beer was also a hit. Well, my dad seemed to like it. I did too, sorta.

TV’s turned to dust. It’s that newfangled tennis. Pah. Take up my American comedy-drama time? I’ll show you.

I’ve pretty much left my “one day, one project” thing, but I’ve done a few things I’ve been meaning to do – buy school books, for example ($820, wtf?).

I’ll try get Mr Drooling Fishy finished in the next two days, so dad (who, funnily enough, pretty much destroyed the last one) can help me. He’ll probably destroy this one, too. What can you expect with slave labour, amirite?

Ah, well. Back to cutting borders off 18 bits of paper. There’s got to be a better way…

What’s this? A post that’s not about mundane tasks I’m fulfilling so I don’t turn to drugs over the next 3 weeks?

Well, yes.

Novelty t-shirts: would you wear them out?

I was spurred on to this topic upon my perusal of this website, which probably contains some of the most awesome t-shirts on thar interwebz (kay, some of them are tacky, crass and tasteless, but some of them are good). This one, for example, provides me the funnies:

While I like the shirts, I would never be caught dead wearing one. Is it because of the offense it may cause? My sense of dignity? The insane prices?

Well, a combination of them, I suppose. One wouldn’t wear these shirts because it seems highly inappropriate to wear something that is intended to be funny – it lets people create an immediate opinion about them. “Make my dinner, you carpet munching gook” may seem utterly hilarious to one person, but it projects sexism, homophobia and racism. In a moral society which unfortunately relies on preconceptions, it would be foolish to do that – project it, that is. You can be sexist, homophobic and racist, but keep it closeted (ba dum, tish).

My opinion: novelty t-shirts are ugly and tacky. If I see people wearing them, I want to hit them in the throat. But that’d project my aggression and antipathy.

What do you think?

A new project every day?

Heh. Even I knew that I couldn’t achieve something requiring so much commitment. So I, well, cheated a tiny bit. My project for yesterday (the 9th), was:

Making ginger beer

(as per the instructions here). If you had a look through, you’ll notice that it takes a number of days to finish it and whatnot…

Hey, it counts! Don’t look at me like that!

Tomorrow, my project’s more of the more mundane ones:

Cleaning my room

Hey, it can’t all be ginger beer and blogging, you know! If you’re good, I’ll take some before and after snaps.

Peace out.

Edit: I bid welcome to all those directed here from the ginger beer blog, directed there from Wikipedia. Howdy.

I swore I would never do it, but look, ma: I’m blogging.

Welcome to The Drooling Fish, my inconspicuous home on the interwebz.

I’m Eric, 14-going-on-15, Perth, Australia, no pets, mum, dad, sister.

Being in Australia and being 14, I’m naturally on holidays and, as a direct result, am extremely bored. Yesterday, after weeks of such boredom, I decided to do something about it. Every day until the end of my holidays (February 4th), I’ll be completing some sort of small project. The first of which is…

Creating a blog.

Presto! Done! Nothing to see here.